You Know What Goes Well With Disappointment?

Ice Cream.

Yep.  As I sit here and peck away at these keys I have some slow churned Edy's sitting here melting onto my desk. Actually it is melting on to this printed out MLS listing for this house we put an offer on.  I even opened some M&M's and poured them right on in to this here carton. And boy does it taste good. I believe this carton of ice cream here is the buffer needed to prevent disappointment from sliding into depression. I may get fatter but at least I will be happier on my journey there.

I thought long and hard about this post because I really was worried that I would seem faithless after being told a big, fat, meany, NO on the house and becoming so sad about it. Wait, maybe I should back up and tell you what happened.  As many of you figured out, I type like I think and like I talk.  Backing up...

Today we countered again and they said no even in the phone call. Which kinda stinks because we asked them on Saturday if we offered a certain number, would they consider it.  They said for us to get it in writing, we did, and they say an immediate no.  Huh. Well, God has spoken.  I am just sad we wasted a weekend.  

Oh that's right.  We had our faces in the toilet and so did our poor realtor.  Never mind.  No time wasted.

But back to my thoughts on posting about this.  I suppose I wanted to come at you with this super duper, spiritual-giant-like thing to say to show you how faithful I am.  And holy with a capital H. But then I realized I can be so dogmatic in how I think that being sad is somehow wrong, or faithless, or even sinful.  

All baloney.

One thing I know is that  I endeavor to be a Christian who is honest about the stuff of life. And I have to say I am so sad this house did not work out.  Sure, I can hope the deal falls through and they come back to us.  I can hope that a bigger and better house would be closer to Cati's school or my husband's work to shorten his commute. 

But in all of it I know that God said no and I truly rest in that no.  But here is what I am not resting in...His ultimate answer.  No is fine and often we hear the platitudes that God has something better...I even say that.  But here are my questions messaged into the Kingdom  today... 

What if His better is not My better?  

What if my wants have become ideals? 

What if what God has is something I need to have a thankful heart about instead of crying out about what is "right" for us in my own eyes?  

I often find I can start praying AT God like I am offering up a memo and then console myself that God got Jessica's memo.  Miss Churchy Smartpants USA with the sash to prove it has given God the memo about His will and her wants. When we put them alllll together they create the pot of gold at the end of my psycho rainbow.

How disillusioned can I be and how insulting is that to my King? 

I am not saying I have done that with this particular house but I am wondering if I am at a spiritual place where I know the right things to say yet I am really not being honest with God. Truly baring my heart to the God who knows it all anyway.  I used to pray brutally honest things like:

God, this woman annoys me.  And I don't love her at all. Her perfume is appalling and she seems to think being a know it all is attractive to other people.  Please help me to love her.  I want to please you yet talking to this person is so unpleasant that I believe my flesh will take the driver's seat and give her what for.  The joy of the Lord is my strength. Amen.

or

Lord God in Heaven.  I know I prayed for these children.  I know that you put us on a glorious journey of faith to place them in our lives.  But why don't you prepare us for things like when my oldest will take a shoe string out of a shoe and proceed to create an intricate noose leash with it pretending her little sister is her pet dog? I love them Lord but it truly is by your grace that they made it to their bedtimes alive.

This is honesty with God who knows our frail humanity is so limited.  But I find myself in a strange place when I say the "right" things to God in prayer.

Your will not mine, God. 

When I really want to say,

"I WANT THAT HOUSE EVEN IF IT ISN'T YOUR WILL!" 

Like if I really say the truth in my heart, HE will punish me for my selfish, wicked wants.  I know this is not true.  I KNOW IT.  But this is how I think and behave,  It is like there is a disconnect between my knowledge and the wisdom that lives out that knowledge.  Strange. Yet I also know when I truly confess my heart's desire that happens to not align with God's, He is so merciful because I always find my way back to wanting His will and not my own.

But today I am being real. I prayed that I wanted this house so much but that if it came back a no, I am believing God for his protection, provision, and ultimate plan for us.

But I am still so, so, so sad. 

And the ice cream is gone.  Which is fine because I am a little mad at it too.  I feel sick. I am so thinking God is teaching me something here. But anyways.  Back to the house search.

I am a little bit wiser.  A little less idealisitic.  And probably 3 pounds heavier.

I Think Presents in the Mail are the Best Kind.

Seriously, how much do I love presents? 

They make me so happy and probably more so than they should.  I even try to manipulate ways to get more.  For example, my birthday is June 25th.  EXACTLY 6 months from Christmas Day. Which makes Christmas my half birthday. Each and every year I think I argue an excellent point that this momentous occasion requires a bonus gift.  In all my thirty-mmmmthhbb  years, I have never, EVER gotten this bonus gift. This is just plain wrong.

But I just got the most fabulous gift the other day from a dear friend I have met out here in blogland.  I just love her, her genuine faith, and her transparent vulnerability.  But what drew me in initially?  Like a moth to the proverbial flame?  

She makes handbags.

I tell you, there is nothing more endorphin releasing for me than a new handbag.  And I have a wide range of tastes.  I like designer bags all the way down to those cute little handmade totes used at the grocery store. I love anything that is useful and beautiful all at the same time.  It is just too much goodness to behold when beauty is put to use.  And what better example than a handbag?

When I first visited Prudence at A Vintage Mom, I saw her first Lollibag. She uses vintage materials and her amazing skills to produce these lovelies. And I was so taken with them that I instantly became a follower with a comment that went something like, "You had me at 'I make handbags.'"

So the other day I left another comment drooling all over another one of her creations and she wrote me to tell me she was sending me one and to pick whatever one I liked.  As a gift.  Just because.

I chic squealed at my computer screen and then we proceeded to have an email marathon because I could not choose.  Choice is difficult for me and apparently it is for Prudence.  We decided going out to eat together would never work because we still would be deciding on our food as they lock the doors.

This is the one I finally chose which I received while down and out with sickness in my bed:

 

 

Oh, such glorious, ruffle-y, feminine, vintage, fabulousness all smooshed together in this beautiful handbag.

I sigh in blissful content.

So Prudy girl.  Know that your thoughtful gift is treasured so much.

Oh and know this.  I am plugging her because I WANT TO.  She just did this out of the kindness of her heart but I can't let  you miss out on meeting her.

Go visit Miss Talented Prudence here or check out her Etsy shop, lollipookiesoap chock full of other beautiful things too.

Here are ones that I love...

 

 These colors make me so happy.

 

Another great lollibag.  The ric-rac and red dot ribbon give this one such character.

 

Check out these fun zippers!  I have seen so many zipper flowers and things out there but this is just too fun! Edgy and sweet all at the same time. 

  

 (I think this lollibag may be my next purchase.  This is soooo me!)

 

 So pretty and fun.

Another happy necklace.

There are so many more but check them out for yourself. 

Now I am going to go put stuff in my new bag and pretend I am going somewhere.  Which I am not, with me now deeming this home "THE HOUSE OF THE ILL."

My poor baby girl got it today.  At least she is last.

Have a great day, friends!

Sigh.

Weeeellllll...it does not look good.

They countered at a price we just can't afford.  We are going to go back with a last offer that puts a bit out on a limb but we know we can do it.  We will just be tight for a little while. 

I am actually surprised I am not lying in a heap all depressed.  I think I really am truly trusting God with this one.  His "no" in this seems so reassuring.  Like, He is whispering, "Wait, beloved.  I have something for you but wait on me."

It may mean this house or another one.  Who knows?  He does.

I promise to keep you posted and please do not stop praying.  You are wonderful friends.

I am off to comfort and care for my husband who has caught this nasty little bug and it has hit him the hardest.  He is so weak and he can't stop throwing up.  Pray for him too!  Just pray us up all over the place!

Oh, here is a pic of the house you were praying for...isn't it cute? Oh well. 

Hugs to you all for being so thoughtful and sweet!

I Did NOT mean to be Literal!

About the throwing up thing. I was just kidding.

But perhaps the Spirit of God was moving within me to declare a warning.  A warning that I would find myself at 1 am in the bathroom with a trash can in my lap, and...ahem...performing other most uncomfortable evacuations.

Ugh!

I even sustained a hurling back injury! Is there such a thing?  My amazing husband took the day off to take care of me and good thing because Cati started throwing up by mid-morning.  I have read so many of your blogs and it seems there are MANY of you dealing with this as it cycles through your family.  

But the best part about it is I was so uncomfortable that I was unable to obsess about whether or not our offer was going to be accepted.  We were too busy cleaning couch cushions and clothes because of poor Cati. And it is now 4:15 pm and we still have not heard anything.  So as I type these words I don't have a clue what the answer is.

So I am going to push this handy dandy save button and wait until I hear the final answer...You are getting up to the minute info, friends...how fun!

UPDATE: 8:52 pm.  We have heard nothing! This is torture!  Apparently, we won't find out until tomorrow.  We pray this is in our favor that they have needed time to mull it over.  DO NOT STOP PRAYING!

I will post tomorrow and let you know.  If I make it through the night.

Will it be Yes or No?

All righty.

The ball has been set in motion. (Is there any oxygen in this room?)

Signed a contract offer tonight, wrote a scary check, and by 5 pm tomorrow we will know if our offer is accepted.

I am off to throw up.

The Last 27 Hours

Insomnia at 2:23 AM this morning


Tick...tick...tick...wait. That's not right.  I have a digital clock.

But you get me.  I am up.  Right now. It's the middle of the night and I am not sleeping.

Why?

Well, I almost typed it but my heart pogo sticked right into my throat.  I am scared to write it because it will make it real.  OK.  I will just take the plunge because all of you are my precious friends and so many of told me you are praying or just asking how this house hunt is going.

We found a house that we love.

Butterflies in the tummy.  Tossing and turning.  A burgeoning hope that seems scarier than a fruitless search. Those are the things that are resigning me to stare at this glowing box, tap away on these little squares and listen to a symphony of sounds that the hubster is producing over there on our bed that I should be lying down on.

Finding a house we love seems harder than not being able to find one.  Are any of you nodding?  Talking out loud to your computer screen like a loony saying, "I been there sistah!  I am soooo with you!" I hope so.  Because I had no idea.

Back up to 6:00 PM Tuesday...

Tonight we saw a few houses.  The first one was this cutie patootie thing right by the gulf in this adorable neighborhood that looks like beach houses.  So cute.  And this house was right in our price range.  We walk in and it looked just as good.  Perfect layout.  Not too big. Not too small.  Just some cosmetic TLC.  And just 4 roof leaks and termites. And flood insurance.  Cha ching!  Real estate sucker punch!  Did not see it coming.  And we were out the door.

Next up.  A cute house on a cul-de-sac that is owner occupied and we needed an appointment.  Not too bad but it becomes hard to picture yourself in a cute house with all their furniture and clutter. Then I glanced outside and became witness to the only hill in the state of Florida right in their backyard.  My girls could daily reenact the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme together.  NEXT!

Now this one was a shot in the dark for us. The One.  The right neighborhood.  Newly listed.  No issues.  Curb appeal.  A bit outdated but only serves us to make it our own while hopefully getting it a bit cheaper. But the moment I saw it online I was drawn in.  Big time.

We walk up to the front door and there it was.  The knowing.  I kept chasing it away asking myself how on earth can we afford this house out of our budget range. I pray for a hideous interior.  We walk in to dark green carpet and peach colored counter tops.  Really.  

And all I saw was my house. 

Within 30 seconds, I said, THIS IS IT!  Great floor plan.  Beautiful back yard.  Fabulous neighborhood.  And all the little things I had been looking for. After discussing some things, we took great pleasure in praying with our realtor over the house and God's will for us.  I  confess I will be so sad if this does not work out but I keep reminding myself that God is my hope.  Not the house.

Our realtor got right to work with much research and information digging. Tomorrow (today) we find out if they would even accept.  Even as I type, I am unsure if I will even post this for fear I will have to deliver bad news to you that it fell through. And before most of you read this, I will probably know where we stand so I figure what is the point?

Because God is in the business of making the impossible possible. I remember becoming pregnant with Ella after such a long infertility journey.  We found out in November and used our family Christmas card to announce the pregnancy,  We had professional photos done and I remember agonizing over the last line announcing...And Baby (our last name) due in July! I send out over 60 cards each year and at this point I was 7 weeks along with my first pregnancy ever.

As I struggled, God just spoke to my heart and said, "Believe and walk in that belief." And I did. And of course that little baby is Ella.

So I walk in the same belief now, knowing God has already established our next home and is lining up all the details.  Here is my day of manic obsessing with a side of godly peace...

8:00 AM Today
Our realtor calls. Apparently the sellers have been renting the house to their pastor after moving into their other house.

Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy!!

He told the realtor a little about us and about us praying over the house last night.  The realtor responds with, "That's funny because the sellers were just doing the same thing for the right buyers."

Oh boy! Oh boy ! Oh boy! Oh boy!

So after much consideration we are going to extend a one time offer.  Today.  No negotiation dance.  Just  what we can afford.  Because we are really needing  a miracle here.  And if we start off low we may lose the whole thing.  And our realtor prayed over all of it so I am trusting His wisdom since it is the very thing we have been praying for.

12:45 PM: Mortgage Broker Phone Call
Numbers will be crunched.  But not yet.  Maybe in an hour.

1:45 PM
Have not heard anything.  Decide to concoct stress reliever food by combining random items from pantry.  Feel sick.

2:45 PM
Wondering if the way I am obsessing could be transposed to praying without ceasing.  Yet I keep refreshing my email hoping to hear back from hubby to give the go to our realtor to start the ball rolling. Click.  Click. Clickclickclickclickclicklcickclick.  Click.  Nothing.


3:31 PM
Still waiting. Just clicked refresh.  Again.  Nothing. Now I am looking to keep myself busy while the girls are still napping.  There is that pile of laundry...wait...click. Shoot. Nothing.


3:36 PM
EMAIL! Now we are told we are prequalified for more money than we want to spend  Say what?  No, no. Do that again. No reason to spend more than we have. More waiting.

4:36 PM
BING BONG!  Email...with scary numbers of a mortgage we might not be able to swing.  Enough to make us shy away from making an offer. Scary because we never sat down and figured out how we could make it work.  Insert broken hearts and dramatic response.

6:30 PM
After much freaking out on both our parts,  we come to our senses by getting on our knees and we are still going to make an offer. An official offer...with incredible peace.

I want all of you to know that I am so amazed at how many of you have emailed or asked questions about our house hunt and said you have been praying.  That means more to me than you will ever know. I am excited to continue to keep you posted.

Stay tuned and in the meantime...and if you think of it...please pray for us...we need a miracle.

Or send money.

Two Tips Tuesday

Tip #1: Two Tier Plate Stand

This was so simple and fun to make. I was inspired by this post from Tatertots and Jello. I was incredibly impressed that this project cost her only $2! And what I loved best is she used a candlestick to make it.  Brilliant! So I tucked this idea away in the inspiration board section of my brain.  Then I was out shopping and came across these melamine plates.  I loved them because they were two different sizes and the smaller ones had the same graphic but only larger.  Each plate was $1.99. I knew this was the project to use them for! I am astounded at how fabulous they look after only these simple and easy steps...

You will need 2 sets of plates, white spray paint, and two candlesticks from the dollar tree.

Spray paint the candlesticks with 2-3 coats of spray paint and let dry.  Seal if desired.
Do not do this as close to your family van as I did.  Praise God it is white.

 This is what the candlestick looks like when finished.

I used hot glue but Jen at Tatertots and Jello used gorilla glue in her tutorial which I think is a great idea too.  I just did not have it and I of course waited until Monday afternoon to work on both tips for this Tuesday.

I made sure to coat the edge with hot glue and let the drips fall to the inside. I centered it on the bigger plate for the bottom tier and then centered the smaller plate for the top.

 That's it!

Tip #2: Turn a Pot Holder into an Eyeglasses Case

Sunday, I had an opportunity to walk to the library while the girls napped.  My intention was just to browse books and magazines and hang out.  I started reading some back issues of Country Living magazine (May 2009) and I came across this awesome tip in their Idea Notebook section.  

Turn a potholder into an eyeglasses case!  

How smart! And being a 4-eyes since the age of 6 that I am and unable to see the Big E on the chart without them, I was intrigued.  I need to take care of my glasses because without them I am LEGALLY BLIND!  Seriously.

So I made them two different styles using...

 

...these pot holders. 

STYLE ONE (the above picture) is just the kind you slide in with an opening at the top.

  

I started by turning the pot holder over to the back lying horizontally.

I first folded in the terry cloth, pocket portion towards the center.

Then I folded the printed side back towards the center.  I stitched the bottom closed and up the one side leaving the top open for the glasses to slide into. 

No, I do not use a sewing machine.  The last time we got together, we had words, said some things we did not mean, objects may have been thrown across the room. It was not pretty.  And that was before I threaded it.  

But this project is so easy with or without a sewing machine. (Just looks nicer with one of those mean old things).

STYLE TWO is more of a clutch style. This one was my little spin on the basic case.

 

Fold the print side up first.

Stitch up the side on the seam of both sides.  

I used brown thread because I ran out of the pretty tealish color. Grrrr.

 

When you are done sewing the sides, fold down the top and it should look like this.

 I took the pot holder loop off using a seam ripper.

I carefully cut it off as close as I could to the edge.

 To cover it up, I stitched brown felt on the inside edge over to the top. 

I then attached a fun green button for flair. :o)
I plan on attaching a Velcro closure but never got the chance because I had a class to get to.  Sorry for waiting until the last minute. 

The best part about this little clutch case is that you can use it for anything. Throw some make-up in there, coupons, whatever.  And shhhhh.  Who would know it was a pot holder?

Happy Tuesday Friends!