December 9, 2010

I Almost Deleted This Blog

Honest to goodness!

You know, I started blogging to share funny stories about my girls, share crafts and my love of all things creative, and most importantly...have an outlet to share my love for God.  Before I started blogging I was virtually anonymous.  I remember friends trying to hunt me down from high school to invite me to our 15 year reunion. No one could fine me! But then I was sucked in by the vortex of the webby world and I suddenly found myself on FB and with this here blog.

I was skeptical initially because the safety of my children was everything to me.  I had seen other blogs with cute code names for their kids and husbands, some blogs who did not have any photos on them, etc.  I knew that whatever I put out there would become permanently...out there.  I knew it and I have been incredibly careful. And in all honesty, I just assume that people who visit me here are just like me...somewhat normal. ;) They see photos of my kids and tell me they are beautiful or sweet or funny.  I do the same on other blogs.  This is a wonderful community of people who share their lives publicly.

But when I got spam on a post I wrote about a year ago referencing my girls doing things that no words should be ever written about anyone's children...the rage of a mama lioness began an emotion in me so primal that I was even a little scared about where those emotions took me.  Even now I am carefully choosing my word so that no traffic will be directed towards this blog that is UNWANTED traffic. 

In those moments, as I read those horrific words, I knew that this blog was not worth more than the safety of my children.  And know this.  I am not overreacting.  I know that I could put a spam filter on my blog.  I know that I could have it where I need to give approval for every comment.  That is not it.

My concern lies in the fact that innocent photos of my girls could be a source of evil, psychotic delight for someone and there is nothing I can do about it except remove photos that I innocently wanted to be a legacy for my kids.  This was for them to see what I have written, made, done, etc. To have the ability to go back in time and read words written from me that I would not be able to commit to memory. And this is also for me too.  I have met incredible people along this journey.  I have made wonderful friends.  My word, my first Christmas card this year was from a bloggy friend...thanks sweet Prudy).

But what do you do?  What do I do?  Do I just assume it was icky spam and let it go?  Do I refocus this blog?  I love crafts and I love to write.  But I love my kids more than anything else.  And perhaps I am being overly sensitive but do you blame me? What would you do? I don't feel my girls are in danger but it sickens me to think they could be a source of interest for a VERY WRONG person.

I am just curious about the thoughts you all have.  Again, I realize so much of this is not in my control.  But I guess I was so upset by it that I have really not sorted it out in my own head and wondered what you all think.
I love this blog and I love all of you.  You encourage me, inspire me and amaze me. And I value your opinion.

So please help me by giving me some insight and thoughts.

Thanks friends!

18 comments:

  1. Oh honey, I am such the wrong person to say anything on this subject. All I know is if this had happened to me, I would be so focused on hunting down and murdering the perp that, well, nothing else would ever get done here at Hansen Farm.

    I also know one other thing. I refuse to live in fear. I have not been given a spirit of fear and I will not allow my children to walk through this world as victims. They are NOT victims. I pity the ignorant fool that would even attempt to mess with them or their mama.

    Love you girl ~

    ReplyDelete
  2. I had to take a double take at the title of ur post NO DONT DELETE ur blog!! I was very hesitant to keep my blog open to anyone, started getting the darn spam mail and still do but I choose not to be private....This blog I have is for my posterity it is what it is!! Oh those Loser spam comments BOOOOOO to them!! love ur blog girl!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. It is a hard place to be in...I have contemplated this before. But, I just choose to keep my stuff out there. In the most careful way possible. Please do not delete your blog, please. We love you...

    ReplyDelete
  4. no prob sister! I guess I never thought about people taking my kids pictures for evil purposes. You could always take the girls pictures down. or do your spam thing. I have been thinking about it from a different view, spending to much time on facebook, to much time reading blogs. and asking myself, am I leading others to Jesus? or just talking about myself. what is my ultimate goal? I'm not sure what my goal is/was... something to think about for sure. I do enjoy staying connected with "friends" online...I guess I find advice and answers to questions, that I can't get from a mom or friends, since I dont' have many...did I just make this about me? sorry, I'm with the others, don't delete it, if your really afriad of that, take your photos down, I think you offer encouragement to all. I know I would miss you!

    ReplyDelete
  5. i agree - don't take your blog down. i understand the wanting to protect your girls above all else. but, like you said - this is for their future and something they can look back on. that's how i feel about isaiah's blog (www.isaiahseyes.com) and although i know that it could be used for those who have nasty thoughts, it's mostly for him and his future. i wanted him to be able to look back at things that he said and did and to know that he was loved so much by his family, in spite of his challenges and maybe more so because of his challenges.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Awwe, like the rest of your readers, I had a mini heartattack when I read the post title. I'm sure if I had been in your shoes I would have done the same thing. I hate how people have to ruin innocent fun and use it for evil things.... I would probably just do the whole blocking spam thing? (that's what I like about wordpress, it automatically does it for you.) and like Marla said, not live in fear. :) I would be really upset since I just found your blog if you deleted it!! On another note, that's adorable that your first christmas card was from a blog friend, lucky bum! :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. I read your post, and I didn't comment, because I don't know what to say, but here I am trying to get my grocery list and my coupons together, and I can't because I am just so horrified and angry and horrified again all over. My husband is a police officer, and I still have a hard time realizing the evil that is in this world because it just doesn't make sense. I read your blog often, wish I were crafty like you, comment more often than I actually wind up posting, and this time I just want to let you know that from someone far away you've never met, I share your rage and sadness, and vulnerability.....and I share in thinking you have some pretty cute and sweet little kids, too:) If you decide to do the spam block thing, I would love a tutorial on that!
    Thanks for being a non met bloggy friend,

    Kristy (waitingforryder)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Well I am fairly certain there is a way to make the blog private where it can only be seen by permission. You could look into that. I'm so sorry that has happened to you!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Definitely don't do anything rash... I would set up a spam filter or security question or something similar to weed out the trash. Don't give up on your blog, I love it!

    ReplyDelete
  10. So sorry! Oh what a world we live in! I agree with Marla about not giving in to fear...I have changed my pics so that you can't just right click and save them, as I have had nasty spam as well. We love your blog, and we are blessed when we visit,and I don't want to see you go, but in the end, you need to do what is best for you, and your family. I think I'd go for security first, and then see? Not sure this is much help, but know that thoughts and((hugs)) are being sent!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm so sorry to hear about this. I can understand where your gut reaction comes from because mine would be the same. I'm very new to the whole blogging thing and sometimes I wonder about having my kids "out there" too. I hope you stick around too!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. I am very protective of my kids when it comes to online stuff. It's not something I like to contemplate much, but there are plenty of skeevy people out there and like you said, once it's out there, it's out there. For the purposes of keeping an online legacy for my kids and keeping in touch with family and close friends, I have a private invite-only blog. It makes me sad sometimes as there are so many more things I would love to feel free to share with all my readers as well (goodness my kids cheeks alone are beyond adorable), but I have made the decision for now to keep them largely shielded from the limelight picture-wise. In my mind, they deserve some privacy too.

    With that being said, I LOVE . . . nay, ADORE the blogs I read that are personal and show pictures of their cute selves and let me peek into all the corners of their homes. I'm not a creep, after all! But for me, I just can't do it. Not now.

    Please don't disappear on me though! If you must take down pictures of your kids, then do that. If you must shut it down and keep this blog private, do that. When I started my blog I transferred all the posts that were sewing/craft related from my personal/private blog over to my new blog. Sometimes it's frustrating deciding where to post what, but it is what it is, I guess.

    I know you'll do what's right for you and your girls. :)

    Love you, Jess! Big hugs from me to you, friend. I don't know what's wrong with some people, and I'm sorry stuff is stupid sometimes. :(

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh no!!!! Thta is terrible!!! I want to write more later but in 2 hours my house becomes a store so I have to hurry but I just wanted you to know that I was here & I am horrified ...sending lots of love their way...lib!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I share the same sense of dismay your other blog friends have expressed. :( You are right about there being evil in this world. We've been warned about it in the Bible but sometimes it is still hard to believe. I don't want to stick my head in the sand and pretend that it doesn't exist but I also don't want the details either.

    Your daughters are precious and as there mother it is your mission to protect them and keep them as safe as you reasonably can. I don't need to tell you that, you already know it I'm sure. If it means limiting exposure through fewer photos or a private blog, so be it.

    I admit to struggling with the same thing. The joy of blogging vs. safe boundaries. Pray about it, keep writing and find the best balance for you and your family. We'll understand, whatever you decide.

    Hugs to you!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Whoops! Reference to earlier post: THEIR mother, not there mother! Ack!

    ReplyDelete
  16. oh my stars...what a nightmare. i often question myself about what i'm posting. nothing is sacred anymore, is it? i blog because i have friends and family who don't get to see us often. i blog because i don't scrapbook, and this is a way to look back. but what about the nasties out there? maybe i should password protect it...and you could, too. i read a few blogs that are password protected.

    you are so not overreacting or being overly sensitive. any mother reading this i am quite sure feels the rage just by putting herself in your shoes in this instance. i'm so sorry you had to read those words. sorry you had to feel that burning feeling of rage and protection.

    as i said before, you and i are similar in a lot of ways. i would hate to not be able to read your blog, but ya know, if it means protecting your kids, i totally get it. hope you feel some peace about it soon.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hi,
    This sort of thing worries me too, is there not an authority that this can be reported to? I believe here in Australia you can report it directly to the police. I think every little bit of information they get could help find a person such as this and therefore is worthwhile reporting. I hope you decide to continue with your blog. :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Creepy! I have two little girls too and that would just freak me out too! I have a family blog that I keep private and a craft blog and photography blog that I have public. Luckily I haven't received any creepy comments. I guess you can go private and just invite all your amazing followers that you've grown to love. Tough call!
    Katie
    miamoodesigns.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete

I love, love, love, comments and I read every one! Please keep in mind that I sometimes moderate each one so it may take a bit before it appears on the post. Thanks my sweet friends!