February 1, 2011

Funny Things My Girls Said Today

Ella's Dinner time Prayer...

Thank you God for famwee, fwends, and ow food.
And, and, and God?
We not pick our noses or take papers off fridge.
Amen.

Ella's bedtime request...

"Mommy? Will you weave da light on in da chicken?"
"Yes, Ella.  I will leave the light on in the chicken."
Chicken aka Kitchen.

Cati's bedtime stalling tactics...

Cati: Mommy, I am really sick. I don't feel so good.
Me: Really?  Tell Mommy what hurts.
Cati: My belly. And my eyes.  This finger.  And right here on my side. 
Me: Cati, I am so sorry. I think you might feel better in the morning so try to fall asleep fast.
Cati: I don't ever want to drink juice again.  Only milk and water.  Juice makes my belly hurt.  But Ella likes juice. Lots of juice. Can you tell me about Jesus and Noah?  And the kids digging a hole?   Mommy?  There are monsters in my room.
Me: Cati, there are no such thing as monsters.
Cati: Mommy?  God will take care of me, right?
Me: You bet sweet girl.
Cati: I love you Mommy.  Good night.


A Funny Story I Forgot to Tell You

It happened over Christmas and I completely forgot to do a post about it.

We spent Christmas in North Carolina and my sister in law gave both hubby and I gift cards to stores not located here in Florida.  And the one for me was for Charming Charlie. That was my first experience in that cutie patootie accessories store and it was rocking with fun stuff. But I kind of got overwhelmed since in the midst of shopping my girls were in sensory overload in their need to handle all the merchandise with their exploring little fingers.

So I had $50 to burn in this place and they do not have a website you can buy from...which hurt my head. I am not one to make choices easily. But I finally pick up this cute necklace, ring, and handbag and head to the monster line that was not there 10 minutes before.

We wait in line for...I kid you not...45 minutes.  And Cati is with me being...awesome.  I am talking halo over the head, pride overflowing, check out my perfect kid and my awesome parenting skills type of awesome. I was even complimented on my "angel."

Oh, but wait.

So the poor girl in front of me is trying to do a return on a bag that apparently does not exist in their fancy computer.  I felt for the girl and was surprised that I was so accommodating.

Could it be that she was the one who called Cati an angel? Perhaps.

But finally my turn arrives, we do our little transaction where I once again give my email address like the mindless drone I am to a store that is not anywhere in proximity to me in Florida nor can be purchased from online.

As I grab my bag of goodies, I look down to see Cati pressing herself up against the counter with her back to me.  She is known to grab little treasures off the floor...much to my germaphobic chagrin.  I am the mom in the bathroom screeching..."Don't touch that...or that...NO...don't touch ANYTHING!" So I am wondering what kind of germ infested object she has but assume she found a bead from a necklace or something.

"Cati...what do you have?" Guilty eyes peer back at me.

"Cati, what is in your hand?"
And then she pulls her hand out of her pocket with used gum in her hand.

I begin hyperventilating.  

"CATI! Throw that in a trash can right now!  That is icky already chewed gum!"

She then takes her other hand, smooshes the gum between both hands and pulls her hands apart with strings of gum all over her hands!

Oh, the horror!

"CATI!" I am now fully panicked because I imagine evil germs that belong only in a petri dish leaping upon my daughter to infect her with who knows what. And I usher her out of the store...quickly.
 She has this defiant look on her face and as we pass mirror covered pillars, I look into one as a millisecond mommy instinct kicks in just in time to see Cati POP THE GUM INTO HER MOUTH!


Now I am debating dumping the contents of my bag to begin breathing in and out of it.  I am literally freaking out that my child is CHEWING SOMEONE ELSE"S GUM. We get out to the car where I make her spit it out and she throws a temper tantrum because...ready?


"MOM!  It still has flavor in it!"


Oh, how entertaining my children truly are.

10 comments:

  1. Hahahahaha! Oh, the things they do! My 4 year old just this week has announced she wants to be a dinosaur trainer when she grows up, thinks God's middle name is Harold and gave this prayer: "Dear God, I love you very much. thank you for summer. Amen." I have no idea why she mentioned summer in January, but at least she's thankful! lol! :)

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  2. crack up! i need to do a post of some of the funny things zora has said recently. thanks for the laugh!

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  3. oh my word, dying.. I would have been dying.

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  4. Oh my goodness-hilarious!!! The gum story--oh my!!!

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  5. Ok, I seriously LOL'd reading this line, "perfect kid and my awesome parenting skills type of awesome." Don't you love it when our kids are "perfect" out in public and you can rock the "perfect" parenting skills?

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  6. Hahahahaha! I'm glad you are writing this stuff down.
    Xo- Jenn N

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  7. Annie is wondering what I am laughing at! :) TOATLLY BEEN THERE...YUCK! I love the flavor part though! Way too funny...not for you...but for me :)

    All the stories gave me this big smile but I did laugh quite a bit as I could see where that last one was going....oh my...glad you have it written down here...oh yuck! :)

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  8. This is so gross I can't stop reading it over and over again. LOL

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