May 8, 2011

For those who may experience a bit of sorrow today...

I am incredibly blessed to be a mother to these two girls...
My Two Shades of Pink.
But I think this particular day holds special meaning for me since my journey to motherhood was a long and hard one.  I remember I would skip church every Mother's Day because each time during church the pastor would have all the mothers stand up to be acknowledged and clapped for. 

Oh, how I would ache to stand with all of these women.  I wanted desperately to call a child my own and finally have the title of...Mommy.

I would imagine the first time I would whisper those words to my baby..."Mommy loves you...Mommy's here."  Or the first time I would hear a child call me "Mama." And that child would give me the greatest gift because that title would be reserved for only me.

And as I spent a lovely day with my daughters who made me berry pancakes that were slightly undercooked, where I smiled and told them they were the best pancakes I ever tasted, I could not help but think about this day that may bring sorrow for some women.  Women who I can relate to in ways that bond me to them instantly.  Who feel a yearning so deep, so personal, so raw...that it brings emotions to the fore that they did not even know existed.

These are mother's who are waiting or aching for their children.

Their journey's are all unique and all their own.  Some are wading through the deep and sometimes murky waters of infertility. They are passionately seeking every opportunity to conceive a child.  A hope for a tiny little life to grow inside them.

Some are waiting for a child to adopt who has grown in their heart.  Who has been prayed for, thought about, and intensely wanted.   They may live in another country and their only connection is paperwork that is worn from reading over and over and a photo that is bittersweet to gaze upon since a "what if" may hang over it.

Or perhaps a child is a foster child, living in their homes, in their arms, yet the certainty of adoption still far off.  They love this child day in and day out yet not know if this will be the child to call their own.  Or foster parents who open their hearts and homes to children they know will one day leave. To a better place.  Or a worse one.

Or a mother who has lost a child. Who's heart is never fully whole again because the loss is so devastating and life altering.  That not just on Mother's Day but daily they live with missing a child they can no longer hold or watch grow up to fulfill their dreams.  

Today I am thinking and praying for you.  Since I understand your pain acutely. My story is unique and all my own.  And so is yours. But I feel a kinship and a sisterhood to these women where today may not be as joyful and easy.  I have never forgotten my journey nor grown less sensitive to what it feels like to be a mother aching for a child...in whatever form it takes.

So as much as I celebrate being a mom to my precious girls...I also want to say I am thinking of you courageous, wonderful women.  My heart is filled with love and prayer for you.

And at this moment I am standing up to recognize YOU. 

So much love and hugs to all of you!

19 comments:

  1. new follower! saw your blog title in the comments on another blog and had to come and visit. would love a follow back if you like,

    laura@imnotatrophywife.com

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  2. oh Jess you have such a gift of words and an INCREDIBLE testimony :)
    Love you to death!!
    ok its like an 1hr 1/2 late but still wanted to tell ya..Happy Mothers day!! :)

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  3. I skipped church yesterday too. Thank you.

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  4. Thank you so much! It means so much to be acknowledged and understood. It feels good to get thoughts and understanding from someone who knows exactly what you are going through. Most people do not know or understand the pain and sorrow. Thanks again for remembering!
    Amber

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  5. I haven't experienced sorrow like this, but often think of my friends and others who have in the past and are currently in situations like this. Thanks for acknowledging them.

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  6. Oh, if you want to link up your Mother's day post http://www.geekyandsassy.com/2011/05/mothers-day-illuminate-linkup.html then maybe my readers can read your post!

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  7. Now here you have me crying. I am glad though. It is such a good reminder to pray & love & remember friends who are struggling & single mother's who might not have had such a great day. You keep my heart on track girl...maybe that is why I love you so much! SOOOOo glad to see you with your 2 bundles of joy & big smiles....brightened up my rainy day!

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  8. Beautiful post!! Hope you had a wonderful mother's day!!

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  9. Thankyou for this post. It brought a tear to my eye and spoke to me very personally.

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  10. God sees each and everyone of us...he knows our needs, our wants and desires. Live for him, obedient to HIS word and one day he'll dry all your tears, wipe away your sorrows.

    I long for the time I can see my sweet one gone on before me...gone on before we had a chance to become aquainted.

    Though since then God offered me a solace for my wounded heart and gave me a blessing beyond measure in the form of a beautiful girl who is sweet and endearing, but challenging. She forces me to grow in ways I never imagined. She's 7 going on 21.

    I am thankful for all God has given me...especially my children...the one gone to await heaven and the other who keeps me on my toes!

    Peace be with you all.
    Brandy

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  11. What a great post......Beautifully written!!

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  12. Thank you so much for your beautiful words...they expressed the part of my heart that was with all the women who hurt on Mother's Day...Blessings,
    Hollie

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  13. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I skipped church also. Half my day was bad, but half was good and I met a knew friend who skipped church simce she has suffered two losses this year. Her's is an interesting story! Again thanks. The Lord blesses us through you and your beautifully written words!

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  14. What a blessing it was to read this...As it reminds me of my own road I traveled..to get to where I am now..hearing that SWEET word daily.."MOMMA"...I rejoice in His infinite GRACE and MERCY...we are so unworhty and not even deserving of these precious gifts He calls Children..but yet He looks down upon us and pittys us...for we are but dust (psalm 103:14)..Praise God for His Everlasting LOVE...
    Happy Belated Mothers Day to you..
    Blessings to you and yours
    In Christ
    Angelina

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  15. This is such a beautiful post. I may have mentioned before but we had a stillborn baby boy at 21 weeks. Then we went through infertility stuff after that. The Mother's Days between losing our son, Michael, and adopting Noah were terribly hard. Thank you for acknowledging that. I also think of the deep loss the birth mothers of our children endured.
    Once again - lovely post.

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  16. Having read your thoughts brought a flood of memories to my mind, for I was one of those women whose heart ached, who heard hopeless words from doctors for seven years...But God!

    My story is long, but my testimony is this: Our God gave me two sons and many spiritual children, and today I am also blessed with nine grand-children and several others who call me "Grammie", for "He made this barren woman the joyful mother of children." I praise Him!

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  17. Posts like this are exactly why I come back here. It impresses me and amazes me how you are able to write and share in such a geninue and heartfelt way.
    Thinking of you and your grandmother.
    Much love and peace.

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  18. Thank you for openly sharing your story. Infertility can be incredibly isolating and if I didn't have other close friends sharing the journey with me, I don't know how I would cope. I used to be a wreck on Mothers' Day. Thankfully, we received our miracle 5 years ago and I'm so gratfeul to be a mommy. However, our 2nd time around with infertility has been longer and no less painful. Throughout our 6-year struggle I'm so thankful that I have this reminder: when I finally held my son I knew that I wouldn't change a thing about our journey to conceive him. I hope that encourages those of you out there who are encountering the ultimate unmet desire. I'm so thankful that although I avoid baby showers and baptisms, I can now face mothers' day. And oh how I cherish every moment with my long-awaited sweet child!

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