Rita Springer - I Have To Believe lyrics LyricsMode.com
The above link has lyrics that are the cry of my heart on this night, at this moment. My family and I just returned from church after a prayer meeting, praying for our friends eight year old son who has been diagnosed with leukemia.
I have been sort of in shock over this news and all I can think about is what this little boy must be going through and how his parents are possibly feeling helpless or discouraged at times. But I rejoice in knowing God is their only hope, their only help, their only strength, their only refuge.
It also makes me think of my girls, my miracle girls...
My Cati who asks me too many questions until I get frustrated and ask her to stop. How loud would the silence be if she was not here to ask any questions at all?
My Ella who can sometimes hurt my feelings when she would rather be held by Daddy. How about if there was no Ella to ever hold?
My Cati who prays at the dinner table and begins to talk gibberish which may be the Holy Spirit's groanings audibly heard because I have no clue what she is saying and I want her to stop so I can eat. How incredibly precious that My Cati delights in thanking God for her food, friends and family?
My Ella who can be so feisty and cry at the least provocation. I get annoyed and want to check out because she seems so high strung and demanding. Why don't I think of the fact that she needs to know I am there to love her and protect her no matter what she does or how she behaves?
I think about these things that pale in comparison to one of my girls not being here at all or going through a sickness or disease and wondering what is happening and why.
So tonight by heart feels so full of gratitude to a God who loves this little boy and this family more than we can fathom. That this family gives glory to the God of the universe who can heal, perform miracles, do the impossible. I am also grateful that if He decides not to heal this little boy, our God is still worthy of all honor and praise. That He knows what's best, that our thoughts are not His thoughts; our ways are not His ways, that He works all things together for good, according to His perfect will and purpose.
And most of all...that this little boy knows Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior. He knows where His help comes from. His help comes from the Lord.
May the Lord God almighty show His glorious works and completely heal this little boy.
And if He does not...yet I will still praise Him.