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May 12, 2013

A Note to Those Hurting on Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to so many of you precious friends!  

Today is a sweet day to celebrate my precious girls as well as my mother, stepmother and Mother in law that God has blessed me with.  I adore the handmade cards and notes with backward letters, the girl's excitement as they jump on me in bed with hugs around the neck and early morning snuggles.  I don't take one of these moments for granted because for so long I remember waking up on Mother's Day wishing I could sleep the day away and pretend the day did not bring me pain as I ached to be a mom too.

Many of you know my story.  If you don't, read my infertility story here.
Each year I write this post on Mother's day. (You can read the others here and here). You know that my heart holds a special place for those hurting today.  Women with infertility, women who have lost mothers, grandmothers or children, experienced the tragedy of a miscarriage, the ache of waiting for your child over an ocean as you walk the path of adoption, for birth mothers who made the courageous choice to give their child up for adoption. Whatever the reason...

...this day I pray for YOU.

I know your pain.  I have walked it.  In fact, this year is tough because I lost my beloved grandmother (Mema) last June.  My poor mother is struggling as well since I am far away.  This day that reminds me of the importance of family.  The importance of a mother that raised and loved me.  And my mother missing her own mother.  This year I sent her flowers but I also sent a daisy plant, my grandmothers favorite flower, to plant in remembrance of her.  She was so touched and I'm glad it helped her know I'm missing her too. I could never forget my Mema and all she was to me.

Just like I can't forget the journey of pain that led me to motherhood.  I now count it pure joy but during that was hard to find even the smallest speck of hope.  I wanted to be a mom.  I was tired of feeling incomplete, alone, left out of a supposed "mother's club."  When I was pregnant, I had someone say to me, "You are no longer on the outside of the mom's club." Though the intent was kind...I found it so heart breaking. That another person HAD seen me on the outside of a club whose only membership requirement was the one thing I most coveted...a child.  It seemed insensitive and surprisingly shortsighted.

Motherhood is not some exclusive club.  It's a divine gift and the hardest, most rewarding thing I have ever endeavored in my life. It is a blessing that is cyclical.  A heritage your born from and continue.  It is lifelong and God ordained.

~ God makes the world all over again, whenever a little child is born. ~
Jean Paul Richter

And we are all affected by mothers.  

Having one.
Wanting one.
Being one. 
Given up by one.
Missing one.
Hurt by one. 
Loved by one.

So each year I let those of you who wake up on this day hurting that I am praying for you.  Loving you.  Not knowing your name or seeing your face but understanding your heart and wanting you to be washed in the comfort and love of the Father. The God who gives strength to the weary, hope to the hopeless, comfort to those who are mourning, asks that you cast your burdens upon Him, loves you with an everlasting love, forgives every single one of your transgressions, and will restore health to you and heal all your wounds.  Beloved, He is able and HE WILL!

I love each of you as I pray and ask God to speak to you personally and wrap His loving arms around you.  May you know His presence, His redeeming power, and perfect love.

Blessings and lots of Hugs to each of you!


  1. Hurt by one. This describes me.
    Thank you for your post. It touched me deeply.

  2. Well it has been a long time since I read your blog. But I'm so glad I read this post. Thank you!

  3. I just finished reading your fertility story and I'm crying and snuggling my boys (my cats).
    Your faith is truly a testament!

  4. I love this post and I love that you continue to be mindful of those who, like us, may not find Mother's Day as joyful as the rest. Thank you for your honesty and encouragement. And thank you for being a voice to those who may still struggle in silence. Your beautiful spirit shines through!

    Thank you again!

  5. Love you and this is simply beautiful...sending you tons and tons of hugs and much love always...

  6. Thanks Jessica! My mother's days are now bitter sweet, but that's okay. It's a reminder of glorious days to come!! Can't wait!

  7. I too am "one". My Mom passed away 3 years ago less than 1 week before Mother's Day so I not only feel the pain of a Mother's Day without her but also the anniversary date of her passing. To all other's that are suffering I am sending much love, and hugs and kisses as we are not alone in feeling this pain of loss or the pain of infertility. May God hold each of you close today and every day. Thank you Jessica for sharing. ♥

  8. This is such a beautifully written post! My husband and I struggled for about 10 years trying to create a family, and in the end, it didn't work out for us. Now that the dust has settled after a few years, I have come to terms and made peace with the fact I will never be a mother. I have learned to appreciate all the other blessings in my life in a way that I never dreamed was possible. It was a very difficult time in my life, but I can say from experience to others who are struggling, eventually, if you try hard enough and have the right support system around you, it does get better. Thank you for sharing your special journey. I haven't been brave enough to do that....

  9. Beautifully written Jessica! I love what you said "Motherhood is a divine gift and the hardest, most rewarding thing I have ever endeavored in my life." So true. Love seeing your heart and encouraging others - it's inspiring!

  10. I am only just now catching up on my RSS feeds, but thank you for posting this. <3 <3 <3

  11. Wow, thank you for writing this. I am one of those women who had a Mothers day that was harder than the year before. Ranging from some of my family not pitching in and leaving most of it to me, to one of the ladies in my family who have a kid saying that she should be given a cheap and easy assignment for her dinner because SHES a mom, to the same person saying that they looked to get me a "Mommy wanna be" card - I nearly lost it. I have had an infertility post in my drafts for months, and haven't been able to finish it or publish it. I haven't been really able to write anything for months actually. So I thank you for not forgetting us who have a hard time on this day.

    Stop on by and see me at Wonderful at Home when you get time. Also, its perfect timing as we are doing a giveaway right now, so maybe you will win something! Here is the link :)


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