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August 20, 2009

Mommy Confessions

Hello. My name is Jessica. And I am a mom who will tell you things that no one really talks about in Mommy groups or church pews. Oh, I may tell my BFF. My hubby. I may even joke about it...a little. But let's discuss what a real mom does instead of what we assume they do. Seriously, do all of us feel everyone has it together except when we look in the mirror? Because I do. Seriously, just because I have cheerios in a baggie in a plastic drawer does not mean I have it together. It means I have a plastic drawer with snacks in it .

I am going to start a list. I have no idea what I am going to write but I am going to see what happens. I hope it encourages others that none of us know what we are doing but just trying to do our best...or maybe just trying to survive.

  1. Yesterday, Ella dumped her whole graduates meal (yes, not a home cooked meal but one where dull colored veggies and a congealed mass of orange carbs called mac & cheese sit on a room temperature shelf for us super nutritious minded mommy's to buy) on the dining room rug. I looked down, scooped it up and put it right back on her tray. Dig in, kid!
  2. We have a flip flop basket right by the front door and I kid you not...I let Ella use them as chew toys to keep her stationary for longer than 2 minutes.
  3. I allow Cati to take naps with odd objects because the faster she goes down, the faster I can go read a book or run on the treadmill. Last week was a balloon. On a string. A few days ago it was her sandals swaddled like a baby.
  4. I actually project vanity onto my girls by selecting outfits based on a particular activity. Junky clothes for home days, cutie patootie outfits for running errands, totally trendy clothes for play dates (to make other Mom's think I have brilliant fashion sense), and designer clothes for church. I worry too often that if the bow is not in Cati's hair for the entire time in church preschool, I have somehow failed Little Girl Hair 101. This particular admission was hard but what is the point of being transparent if we can't be brutally honest about our inner thoughts and foolish misconceptions?
  5. I actually do bribe my 3 year old with Popsicles to eat 2 bites of peas. She is consuming more sugar then nutritious food and yet I still feel victorious. Call me a mommy sucker.
  6. I assume all Mom's think I am an awful mom when I am with them and I compare my mothering skills to theirs. When in fact, most of these wonderful friends will later tell me how I encourage them. Why do I torture myself?
  7. I often "check out" when Mommy life gets overwhelming and get on the computer or the phone. Instead of playing with my children. I can get so unorganized with my time when I am actually VERY organized. But I look for an escape. This one grieves my heart the most and I admit it because I feel shame. I think lots of moms sometimes do this and maybe feel guilty. I know this time period of our children being small is so fleeting and we are to enjoy each moment but some days I wonder how we do that in the midst of it. Why does it seem so much easier in retrospect?
  8. I actually let Cati break house rules so I can have a 5 minute conversation with a friend. Not proud of the hypocrisy here.
  9. If my child refuses to eat what I serve her, she does not eat until the next meal. I am convinced imminent death is not a threat. Though many Grandmother's are probably gathering to hunt me down.
  10. I already fear being judged by this honest list yet I believe if it speaks to anyone who is afraid that they don't have it all together they will realize it is so OK if they don't.

My goal is to never try to impress people. I typically laugh at myself or write about things at my own expense. It takes the pressure off and lets me laugh at life. So I hope you know that I admit these things to help me as parent see that I just do what I can to survive. Some days are good and others I fly by the seat of my pants. that a bird? a plane? Nooo...just Jessica holding onto a fabulous pair of jeans.


  1. I'm so glad that you wrote this post. I think you should encourage other readers to link up and "confess", too! I bet we'd all feel a lot better. I have one: When I was so sick during my first trimester with this pregnancy, I used to let Andrew (only 3 yrs old at the time) go out in the backyard completely unsupervised while I laid in bed. I would listen for the sound of the swingset squeaking to assure myself that he was alright out there. If the squeaking stopped for too long, I'd drag myself out of bed and fuss at him to either keep swinging or come back inside. Good times... great parenting...

  2. Love this. Thank you. On so many levels. Here's my latest one. Had my girls at the beach yesterday, and Kahlee, the two year old, sat down with her snack (blueberries and crackers) and laid each piece out in the sand. Then started eating them one by one. As the surf came up and took a few blueberries, she ran into the water to scoop them out and eat them. And I let her. Knowing how much sand she was consuming. Because I wanted just five minutes of peace to lay in the sun. No gold stars here!!

  3. I am so behind on your blog and I am so sorry. I think I'm running behind on our friendship too because we haven't spoken in years it seems like. I have so many mommy confessions that I don't even know where to start. The most recent being that some weeks my kids go 3 days in a row with mac & cheese for dinner and I justify it with adding unsweetened applesauce to the plate. When Bella couldn't read I would skip pages and sentences in the night time book we were reading. OMW as I type this, Gavin is calling me out on something right now. He just asked for Milk and I just now said "one second please" and he says, "mama that's what you said before and you never got my milk". When can we hang out girl? School started today and I feel like I have all this time on my hands. Oh, but wait, I still have a 7 month old!?! Love you so much!

  4. Um, I need to confess right now that my son has been in his crib for 10 minutes awake from his nap and I absolutely do not want to get him yet. I am busy reading my mommy blogs and facebooking. I really need just a few more minutes. Maybe, just maybe he will go back to sleep.

  5. I am guilty of 1, 2, 8, and 9! ;) As I read the first one and that you picked it back up off the floor and said, "Dig in kid!" I actually did the fist pump "YES!" Totally something I have done before.
    Here's my latest. While over doing yard work and flower planting at my Mom's house for Mother's Day the kids were playing in the sand pit. Not an actual sand box, but the leftover remnants of where their blow up pool should go. After hours of planting/weeding/potting etc. we finally call it quits and my Mother informs me with a chuckle that the sand pit that my children have spent hours playing in is what Duchess (the cat) has been known to use for a litter box on occasion. Then she tells me that she thought about telling me sooner, but figured what harm could it do? ;) Nice Grandma, nice. Now my confession is that we have been over at Grandma's a few times since this discovery and my children have played in the sand box every. single. time. While I know that there could be potential ringworm and other lovely things I don't want to acknowledge I tell my self, "God made dirt so dirt don't hurt." :) Or perhaps it's my silent prayer.


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